Tuesday, 14 June 2016
Monday, 6 June 2016
Wednesday, 25 May 2016
"Nevertheless the people refused to obey the voice of Samuel; and they said, Nay; but we will have a king over us; that we also may be like all the nations...............
In the context of this chapter the children of Israel were demanding for a king and even after God explained to them that the King would come with his cons, they refused to listen. At times our desire to be like everyone else causes us to cast away all reason despite the reality of consenting to a worse state being so evident. The king was going to take their possession, their daughters as cooks, their sons as servants, portions of their land for his servants and so much more but they did not care.
At times our desire to be so much like other people causes us to reject the beauty that God has already laid before us. I have been caught up in this the past few weeks, i have been so bent on wanting to look like others and lose all that God has placed in for me. See God says in His word;
Wednesday, 27 April 2016
Looking for someone to feel this emptiness, for someone to make me whole, guess i expect you to feel this space, yet many are the days it feels emptier with you around, you complement me is what it is and not complete me is what i've found. So i run to he who can make me complete. Finding a man who can chase God with me is an ultimate plus, yet how can we chase God when i cannot be honest where i am with this God, for the fear that i might loose this man. Fear has become a reality in this relationship for me, so i pray for love that casts out all fear, so that i may have freedom to share my life with this Gift i have.
Take care of the issues and not be ashamed. When perfection is revealed and imperfection breaks through the pearl perfect cover. I am afraid. Each time with you i see imperfection in me....like the Isiah effect , i see how weak, how rude, how emotionless, how far from perfect i am. This struggle is real. You have made me realise that i am not and that makes me afraid because at this point all worlds are falling. Jesus take the wheel, you are my only help. You can provide the grace, with which i can love, i can pray, even when i do not feel worthy. Because since i met him i have self esteem issues around him, maybe because he has to know all of me and i have to know all of him and i am not used to that i give a piece of me and take on whole of people and i move on.....just fine.
This journey is stripping me of the old and that is very hurtful...but i pray for grace to behold the new and not weep for the old thats gone because in so doing i will have misery all the while being surrounded by beauty. So help me God i pray to know that this too will work together for my good. And the two completes me and him will make a whole!
Tuesday, 19 April 2016
Monday, 18 April 2016
Naomi had reached the point where she felt bitter about her life, Her husband Elimelech had left Bethlehem when there was a famine and she had left with Him and her sons, but at some point all the three of them passed on. In today's world at times we face some sort of famine in our lives and decide to look for better lands or greener pastures so to speak. We always have a confidence that the place we are going is going to be better and we are going to escape the harsh situations that surround us and make it better for us and our children.
In this journey i am taking, today i feel all of me saying to those around me do not call me Naomi (pleasantness) call me Mara (bitterness). I came in full but today i am empty. I have read the book by Gary Chapman "the five love languages" in that book he talks of something called the love tank and how at times it can be empty. when i started this journey i had my love tank full, not the mushy lovey, dovey tank but the logical strength that i was going to make it. But today i am empty and this load feels too heavy.
I am waiting on God of my fathers, and my God to help me. Later in the book God actually visited Naomi, Ruth got hitched to Boaz and they got a bouncing baby boy named Obed and he was the one that wiped Naomi's tears away. I believe that Naomi had to go to Moab to meet up with Ruth. Because of Ruth's Obedience she got connected to Boaz and God gave Naomi the wisdom to bring up Ruth in a way that would capture the heart of Boaz, and down the line Naomi became the great, great, great, great......(not sure to what generation) grandmother of Jesus
At times when God has big destinies planned out for you, He allows you to go through some
Wilderness- like the children of Israel
Captivity- like Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego and Beltshazzar (Daniel)
Dungeon- like Joseph or
Bitterness- like Naomi
I am learning a lesson that all things come from Him and exist by His power and are intended for His Glory (Romans 11:36). I am learning that i may feel bitter now, but even Christ looked up and Cried "My Father, My Father, why hast thou forsaken me?, there will be those times like today in this journey that i will want to give up or frown and tell all those around me to change my name but in the end it will be a testimony unto His name
Secondly i need to be very careful whom i listen to in such times, solitude and prayer is a good thing in confusion and moments of lack of understanding. when Jesus in Matthew 9:18-24 went into the rulers house, He put away the mourners and the flute players who were causing commotion. Some people around us are so quick to declare death even when people are just sleeping, we need to be watchful of such and put them away. For inasmuch as faith comes by hearing the word of God, doubt in the same manner comes by hearing the negativity of men. In seasons when you feel weakened retreat to yourself and pray; Jesus did it (Matthew 26:38 &39) because it is at the point of prayer that God can minister to you and you can be real to Him. I am fascinated as i write this that everyone will always tell you "i think you should" or "my opinion is this" but God ministers to our deepest needs bringing us in to see His will for us; not a personal opinion but a divine plan for our success. He nurses our wounds and does not evoke in us feelings of doubt, insecurity or hatred he actually loves us to the point of getting us to respond with a simple "not my will but yours be done."
Thirdly i need to know that He will never give me more than i can bear and this too shall pass to the Glory of His name forever.
Today i am at the end of me but at the beginning of God and that is okay, because He is GOD!