Friday, 8 April 2016

Unusual for his Glory

2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.

The story of Hosea in the bible encourages me all the time. I am puzzled at what the servants of God; the prophets went through at that time. The first thing God told Hosea after his call was “Go, take to yourself a wife of harlotry, and have children of harlotry; for the land commits flagrant harlotry, forsaking the Lord” (Hos. 1:2).

I thought that in our generation God does no such things till I found myself right in the middle of such a thing. Each one of us has an ideal mate as much as we pray God let your will be done. On the 29th November 2014 I was caught by surprise. It was the wedding of a very close friend of mine and I as usual was the busy bee trying to get things together. In October that year I had just had a very painful heartbreak. My long time best friend who had been there for me through my first breakup rejected me. I was willing to give up everything for him. Even sleeping with him did not seem a huge sacrifice if he asked; I was ready to show him that I loved him as I thought he was the one for me. After spending a night at his house he told me in the morning that he had known that I was waiting for him to ask me to be officially his girlfriend and that at this point he did not want anything to do with girls. I thank God who preserved me and did not allow me to give my sacred gift away to a man who was not meant for me. He preserved me a virgin even when I did not want to remain one. From that moment I spiraled out of control jumping from one “friend” to another and so I was the least concern about looking for a husband in November as my system was working, I was eating out on different peoples bills and being pampered like the princess I am. That morning I woke up and there he was. I was stranded and looking for a song for the bridal team, I took his phone to download the song and transfer it via USB to the DJ’s laptop. Having his phone felt funny, it was a though it was my phone, like it belonged to one of my own. I paced up and about and as a result of my perfectionist self I started straightening out the Men’s pocket squares. I did this for the entire team and finally managed to catch this gentleman, friend, church goer… this time I did not know what to call him. As I was going about my business with the utmost diligence and nothing sinister in my mind one of the bride’s brothers passed by and made a comment “Huyu ni Mrembo wako?” (Translated is this your beauty?) To my surprise He smiled and nodded in agreement, at that point I felt a tingling and warmth inside of me that caused me to smile at the corner of my mouth. I felt like his fiancĂ© or wife. I shrugged the thought and continued about my business but nothing was same that day it was a very funny day. In the evening as I left the venue I went to say goodbye. It was the first time he embraced me at about 6:30 pm. I felt home…..shaking of the feeling and refusing to be caught in the moment I gently pulled away with the excuse of being left by my designated driver for the day, I quickly rushed to the car and later that evening my brother said that he would be my husband. I shrugged it off convinced that he loved the one he was with dearly plus I was just healing from my chain of frivolous friendships and did not want a commitment. I went home and prayed for God to steady my heart but in the series of prayers that followed I developed a strong connection to him. It was a though my heart was tied to him by the events of that day and a huge sack of love had just hit me. The more I prayed it away the stronger it got. I started making sure that I would have to say bye on Sundays after church before I left and I kept praying.

You may wonder why the intricate details of our meeting had to be painted in the above paragraphs, it is because an unwilling girl like me was caught up in God’s will for my life, but this was not at all what I thought it would be. Silence ensued until 2015, no intention of marriage, dating, nothing! Most of the time I felt I was throwing myself all over him, selling myself cheaper than I knew I was worth, but for some reason I was willing to hold on and see where it would go. So June or July came and we started meeting. I was shocked, a pampered princess like me……I went through a lot and wondered in my heart if it was truly him? At times I thought to myself that God was playing a joke on me. After a while he told me and not asked that I was going to be his wife. September 24th 2015 we officially started our courtship. I meet up with my friends and they ask the age old question “do you love him?” yes I do. But it is not a warm fuzzy feeling that gets me frolicking like a little girl on a candy high. It is something I pray about day and night asking God to perfect it in me, because each day I see a reason to let go, each day I find something about him that threatens my very existence and the fabric of God’s love for me. It has been 8 months and counting but it has been the longest journey. That’s why today I am reminded of Hosea, at times God year marks you for greatness, and causes you to pass through some difficult situations. Imagine Hosea a man of God going to his family and telling them this is the woman I have chosen to marry and at the mention of her name his family’s suspicions are confirmed and they are all in awe. Like really!!!!! Hosea? A prostitute? Weren’t there any good girls in the synagogue who you could marry? It made no sense to Hosea just like it made no sense to my family. They could not understand this whole “I know he is the one because God said so”, whereas my whole body language and facial expression were screaming “Please save me!” as one who had been taken hostage. Obedience is a hard thing, but Jeremiah 29:11 states “I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, Plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope (KJV-to give you an expected end). Like Hosea I do not want to go back for gomer, “I tried it the first time as hard as it was and she ran away” is what he might have been thinking. But God had to make His point to Israel and Hosea had to obey. I am convinced that this relationship is of God and I keep praying that God will not fool us and give those that doubted the satisfaction of “I told you so”.

We are the most imperfect in our eyes, we may always see our short comings but he has proved it over the last 8 months. At times I hurt him with my words and actions at times he hurts me with his words and actions but then He always comes back. His love for me reflects God’s love, because in the end he had to save the world. And though we may bicker at each other and want to give up. He always gives us the strength to come back. Yes there are those fuzzy days but most at this point are stormy seas, rest assured in my tears I know he is making all things beautiful in his time and I cannot wait to share our experience with the world. He truly has made all grace abound to us, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, we may abound in every good work.

Ours is unusual, but unusual to his glory!

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